Leo’s Brother: My Personal Day of Judgment


*photo by Madeleine S./written by phong


I often speak of these tests in life called “Moments of Truth.” It is a moment in life that challenges me by attacking my weaknesses. If I were to fail this test, as I have failed many, Life will bring this opportunity again and again to see if I have learned what I am meant to learn. If I were to succeed in passing my challenge, I would be rewarded with the most amazing and beautiful gift. The tricky thing about these Moments of Truth is that I never know when they are coming or even aware I’m being tested until it passes.

As I become more and more aware of who I am and what I am capable of doing, I realize with great clarity that I know nothing and have much to learn. It sucks sometimes to know how little I know, but yet I am gratefully excited for all the new opportunities. And today was one of those. I received another Moment of Truth.

I have learned that I become furious and angry, when someone rudely interrupts me while helping a soul in need. It pisses me off. Here I am trying to give some love, and a dark soul interferes. I remember once I was guiding another to make sense of vicious, tragic accident. In the midst of this, a neighbor attacks us with screaming judgments of ridicule and blasphemies.

I almost threw a bowling ball through her window :)

I wanted to beat down her door and get in her face. I wanted to create her nightmares. But then I realized, perhaps I should ask myself why she would act this way. How could she say the things she said? How could she attack with such desperation and unwarranted hatred?

And then I saw her. I saw a fearful woman, sad, lonely and without a clue about the nature of self love. I let go of my own judgment and saw Truth. And that brought me great sadness.

So instead of battering her with my reactions of injustice, I sent her my love. Perhaps she can find the peace and happiness she seeks. Perhaps I can be the one to help take her nightmares away.

In hindsight, I saw that I had failed that Moment of Truth. I needed to ask myself why. Why did I react the way I did? What in my core and soul did I feel when she attacked me? How did I allow her to unease my soul?

I reacted with dark thoughts of fury and revenge. Luckily I did not act upon them. However that can no longer be an excuse. I had found a new challenge to master. I found another weakness in my mastery of unconditional love. And I dutifully accepted my failure in this test, and was determined to be ready for when that Moment of Truth arises again.

And today it did… on February 11th, 2010.

I was with a group of beautiful, strong but fearful men. They had come seeking my guidance. They wanted answers to questions they have not asked. They wanted to see a bit into the world I see. Even now they still don’t understand how or why. But they are willing, despite their fear of self love.

Today I was blessed to be at one of my favorite spots in the world Leo Carrillo State Beach in Malibu, CA. On this beautiful shore, are naturally carved out sea caves and tunnels. This rocky terrain hides beautiful sandy coves and a treasure of wildlife. The views are vast as it shares with us Catalina Island and Channel Island National Park.

The tide was lower than I had ever seen. The empty tide pool left puddles of mini ecosystems. Today I had a special journey for my friends. I was to test them, tell them stories, and challenged them in ways that was bigger than their menial problems.

I had them find their souls and physical manifestations of love. We climbed into caves. We crawled through tight narrow spaces to admire secret hidden worlds. We scrambled over rock walls. We found the Three Arches, naturally carved arches that somehow are triangulated perfectly in nature.

I had them find their voices with primal strength. I helped them question their reality to seeing the deeper truth. I told stories of inner peace and folk lore. I had them embrace the walls of a cave where the Chumash Indians had stayed hundreds of years ago. I share with them the nature of my soul with the nature of the world around them.

The hungry men were beginning to understand. We had gone on an incredible journey.

We came to the last final stop. I had saved the best for last. I had one very last challenge. I had one very last story to inspire their souls. And while I had them captivated with nothing more but truth, I heard…

“This is SOOO STUPID! What the F***! I don’t get it! WHY! They are sooooo stupid.”

I looked up. A young boy not more than 13 was screaming at these men on the beach for shooting a film. They had their trucks and their lights. Crowds of men and technology scurried about. This kid stomped in a tirade, cursing to all hell. With him were others moaning and complaining in the background.

It broke the connection I had with my friends. They became distracted. I became distracted. The opportunity I had to share great wisdom was forcefully being taken away.
I felt weak and powerless to this rampaging teenager. My friends were getting annoyed and angry. A cloud came over us.

My first thought was to judge this kid. I wanted to. He was creating havoc and chaotic emotions. But I didn’t. And I remembered. I am not weak. I am powerful. So I smiled, nodded my head and went back to work.

All I had to do was to expand my aura. My energy brought the men back to my flow. In seconds I had them reconnected to our beautiful journey. And we ended by sharing the simple truth of our hearts. That kid? Well that intrusion was merely an inconvenience. But little did I know that it was an unforgettable moment.

It was time to go home. We had to pass the kid and the crowd he came with. We mostly were polite and scurried along passed. But I could not do that. Something told me to connect. Before we were through, the young kid beckoned me…

“Excuse me sir. Please can you help me?!” His voice was frantic. He felt of darkness that consists with anger, sadness and fear.

I turned to his direction and sync with his soul. I was meant to meet this child. He was to give me a great gift. And I connected. I saw Truth. I felt pain. I felt broken. I was in despair. But I knew it wasn’t me. It was him and reminded myself I was indeed powerful.

I finally saw that he was accompanied by an equally desperate, but more reserved brother. And a beautiful grandmother at the end of her journey, physically weak and frail in a wheelchair. I looked into her eyes and she was dressed in black from shoe to soul. But yet she nodded with a knowing grin when she saw me.

He begged, “ Please… how can we get down there to the sand. We have to get down there to the sand.” He felt so empty.

So with a bright smile, I shared with him the stairs that led back down to the beach, the one on the other side of the cliff from the film shoot. I showed him the path and shared my knowledge of the terrain. I magnified my energy and welcomed him to feel the love I had to offer.

He yelped out… “My dead brother is down there.” His sadness was contagious. He sobbed loudly.

“My dead brother’s ashes are down there on the beach.” He breaks down in sheer weakness and almost crumbles. I felt his soul. I understand him.

So again, I smiled.

And I placed my hand on his shoulder and spoke to his soul. I helped him feel the unconditional love that only a stranger could give him. He saw my eyes behind those sunglasses. And he felt Truth when I shared that his brother is never far…

And that all was good. It is okay to feel anger. And it’s okay to be sad… but mourn so that you can celebrate. Love is a beautiful thing.

He was looking for more than just where to go. He was searching for solace. He was trying to find peace. His energy calmed and he started to breathe. He became real. His family around him began to let go of their pain. As he connected, they followed.

He asked if I could stay because his mother was almost here.

But we couldn’t. We had to leave. I was not drawn to stay. For this was his moment to now lead his family, for he had already led them emotionally. He needed not to rely on my strength, but be reminded of how strong he truly was. He had to walk to his own path without a crutch.

This was just a moment. It was meant to be a moment. And we all parted, much stronger and wiser. I showed to him one last time the path to his brother in the beach. My new friend hugged me over and over. And as loud has he yelled at those men, he thanked me again and again.

Thanked me for what? For being me… for being the powerful being I am learning to master unconditional love.

I had passed this test. And I was rewarded with a moment I will always cherish.

My friends and I saw wisdom in this beautiful, synchronistic exchange. We all felt more pure and free in our hearts. For this was a blessed opportunity. We saw Truth up close and personal. And we were touched by the displays of fear, sadness and love.

Tears still flow when I imagine this family struggling down to the beach. I wish I could have stayed to help the grandmother down the stairs. But I knew the two boys were strong, and their mother was coming. All would be safe. I see the four of them rejoining with the lost brother. I could still feel all the emotions that were expressed from love. This picture will never fade.

A Moment of Truth it was. And I am excited to master the new ones. 

I know Leo Carrillo State Beach is named for a famous radio and TV performer. And I respect that.

However to me, that lost brother will always be named Leo.

And that beautiful kid, my new friend… will be known as Leo’s Brother.

I shared earlier that when I passed a Moment of Truth, I would find a treasure. I did.

This gift is what I share with you. And perhaps one, at least one other person can benefit from this lesson. And in that, Leo and Leo’s Brother will live in folklore, wisdom, and legacy.

Thank you Leo’s Brother.

monkjoe aka wind

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