I hear it all the time. In my work with clients, they often express their nervousness and anxieties that swell within them. As life tests them with constant challenges and obstacles, many fall victims to their own insecurities. In my younger days, I often allowed my own fears and worries to overwhelm and stress me. Often I allowed my weaker state of mind to become submissive to the turbulent nature of life.

How can I face my family and speak my truth? Can face the folks I’ve hurt? Can I live soberly? Do I need this crutch of alcohol and drugs? Will I survive? Will I thrive? How can I balance reality and my spirituality? I’m not strong enough. I don’t have enough tools. Everyone is going to judge me. I am alone. I have no one to support me…

Life will dictate opportunities. In these opportunities, we have a choice. The way we react to the events determines how we will experience them. My favorite example is this. Every year, countless folks gather around to watch the biggest football game of the year. Half are rooting for one team, the other half the other team. At the end of the game, one team wins. Half are extremely excited and thrilled, the other half extremely disappointed. However they all sat there and watched the same game.  The difference is simply their reaction to the event.

What choices are made in our unconscious and subconscious minds? If we invest our energy into things we do not want, things we are nervous about or things that make us unhappy, we will end up creating those circumstances in our own realities. And when this happens, we continue to bemoan and become wary of life and the crap that it offers to us.

How does this work? In metaphysics, they call it the Law of Attraction. The belief is that our minds create our own reality based upon what we emotionally invest in. The more we stress about bills, the more bills will come. The more we are nervous about a potential argument with our significant others, the more likely the fight will occur. Likewise, if we emotionally invest in positive, happy things, those things will be gifted to us by the Universe. If we dream of a million dollars, a million dollars will come our way.

If you don’t believe in this hocus pocus, magical way of living (and most do not), let me make this more practical to you. In Psychology, you can also label this as a self-fulfilling prophecy. If in your mind you label yourself a loser and one that can never ever speak to an attractive woman, you have created a self-defining story. If you hold this notion when an attractive woman flirts with you, the stigma of being a loser will bounce around in your psyche and thus commandeer your actions. Your life and your reality are constructed by the thoughts that run through your mind.

If you believe that you are successful and hard working, you will strive for the success when opportunities arise. If you believe you are weak and pathetic, you will mostly likely let all the wonderful opportunities fade away until it is too late. And of course what happens? Those folks will probably view their lost opportunities as another failure, further solidifying their nervous, weak, insecure dynamic.

So now let’s look at nervousness and anxiety. How do these things serve you and cripple you? By creating a nervous dynamic, you will create what you most fear. In your mind, you will see, hear, and witness everything that will make your reality real. We often act this way because of our underlying fears. So take the time to understand your fears. Why is it that you are so nervous?

Is it because you want things to go perfectly? Are you worried about whether or not you can live soberly? Just by putting that negative energy out into the world, the chance of creating that same energy will heighten. Why do that to yourself?

If you follow the chain of why’s, you shall see that much of your anxiety and insecurities stem from Love, or lack thereof. I believe that if we look at our choices, they are based in the simplest of emotions, fear and love. But if you examine fear, it is based on love, from self love to desiring love. If this is the case, why even bother with the fear at all?

Anxieties, insecurities, and other such ailments are simply a form of fear. We become nervous about our appearance. We question the validity of our lives. We fret over success. We shake over failures. It is all fear.

Hmm…

But if fear is derived from love… well let’s skip to the chase. Why put yourself through the mental and physical stress? Stress biologically breaks down your body. It makes you mentally and physically weaker. Ironic thing is that in trying to love yourself through fear, you actually harm yourself. That doesn’t seem like a good way to live and love to me. So let’s just make the shift to simply love ourselves in the best possible way. And this way, we give ourselves a chance to grow rather than be eaten by our own fears.

How will this benefit us? As we focus on loving ourselves, we shall make stronger choices that will benefit us. Yes, we shall see the fears, and anxieties that creep up in our minds, but we shall learn to use them as tools. They shall serve us, not cripples us. They shall drive us with inspiration rather than break us to desperation. We shall no longer sit in a position of weakness. We shall take hold and power through. We will no longer be victims.

We shall see obstacles as challenges. We will chuckle at the small things. We will be free from the madness on man. What a great gift… if we decide to love ourselves again and drop this silliness of anxiety and fear. They shall serve us. By making the choice to love yourself, you will learn to be excited for opportunities. Your mind will be clear to make sound judgments. You won’t rush. You won’t loaf about. You will live life free.

And if now you on not convinced, perhaps I should have started with this…

The Universe is 13.7 billion years old. Suppose you live to 100 years, your life is dust in the whole grand scheme of time and life. So the little things in life (which most things are), should be treated as so. Why be anxious and nervous by anything? It is what it is.

It’s one life. Let’s live. Let’s learn, grow, and evolve. Let’s be heroes. Let’s be excited.